Leadership isn’t for the weak, because it isn’t all about “Yes”! Leadership isn’t always saying “Yes” to your People in response to everything they ask, ideas they share, and work they don’t mind doing. As a former Mental Health Therapist, I had the pain and privilege of working in a “Yes-Environment” and it accelerated my professional burnout. The gentleman hired to take over as the Leader of the Facility was a nice man who was ill-prepared for the intensity of our Facility. He doled out “Yes’s” by the pound to residents and staff, and within months, we were experiencing near-riot situations daily, had lost control as a staff, staff were being assaulted daily, and his best staff were burning out and negatively impacting new hires.

The truth is, Leaders make their “Yes’s” powerful and their “No’s” meaningful… and it’s a mix of science and art that we get to explore now. When we say “Yes” to our People, to an idea, a project, etc., we’re giving away our power and handing it over to another person. Your Direct Report, Employee, or Team now holds your professional reputation in their hands. They hold the preparation, progress, and possible success or demise of an idea or professional relationships in your “Yes”. Sounds dramatic? It is!

It may not always be on such an epic scale, however, over time, the compounding effect of too many “Unthought out Yes’s” can be your demise or the company’s demise!  Therefore, let’s not just say “Yes”, explain your “Yes”:

• Why does the idea make sense?
• Connect the dots for your People on how saying “Yes” to their idea helps the Team, Company, Client, or other Departments.
• Make your “Yes” make sense, not just make them feel good… Be Mindful!

Our “No’s” are as important! As I mentioned earlier, we cannot walk around saying “Yes” to everything. Therefore, when it’s time to say “No”, make your “No” meaningful. Why are you saying “No” and share your reasoning.

As a Leader, you receive emails, sit in Board Meetings, Executive Meetings, and have connections your People don’t… so, how can they know all you know? How can they know their idea may be great for now or the smaller picture, but not beneficial for the bigger-picture or future? Perhaps you’re the CEO or an Entrepreneur, and their idea is great, but not aligned with the Vision you have. As a Leader, it’s up to you to eloquently coach, mentor, and teach so your “No” is meaningful and not tyrannical… Be Mindful!

So, before we jump in, what are the 5 things we get to say “No” to… and how to say it; enhancing not only our Leadership & Work/Life Harmony, but also for that of those we’re Leading?

1. Leaders say “No” due to Vision Factors!
2. Leaders say “No” to protect their People from potential burnout!
3. Leaders say “No” to see the holes in the process and maintain professional accountability for Employees and across departments!
4. Leaders say “No” to protect themselves from being taken professional hostage!
5. Leaders say “No” Higher-Ups to either protect their Staff, the Customer, their Professional Reputation, or to see a reprioritization of duties!

“No” due to Vision Factors!

This first “No” is so meaningful because it’s tied to your professional GPS and quickly makes your “No” less personal and much more meaningful. As a Professional Speaker and Leadership Trainer, I get to travel extensively, teaching the fun and exciting parts of Leadership… and my Leader’s 3; the non-sexy part of Leadership.

The Leader’s 3 is your Vision & Vision Factors for your company or Team, your Expectations, and your Rules!

Let’s focus on Vision & Vision Factors. Every company has a mission statement that most Frontline Employees can’t say. It doesn’t mean mission statements aren’t important; rather as a Leader of a Team within an organization… what’s YOUR vision for your Team? And, what are the 3-5 things that when done consistently, will make your Vision come true? It doesn’t have to match your company’s mission statement, but makes sense when it aligns.

For example, my Vision for our Team is to provide world-renowned Leadership training impacting Leaders and companies worldwide with elite service.

My Vision Factors are:

• We must create impactful products: Training, Speaking Engagements, Online Programs, AI Tools, etc.
• We must network appropriately: where are our People, what do they want, and how do they want to best receive it, and best pay for it?
• Passive Income opportunities within our lane of services.

When my Team approaches me with ideas, fine-tuning of ideas, or special-interest projects… when it aligns with our Vision Factors, it’s an easier “Yes” When it doesn’t, my “No” isn’t personal… it’s due to the Vision Factors and now it’s their job to fit their idea into the Vision Factors and we can always revisit!

“No” to protect their People from potential burnout!

Many Leaders are ignorant to “The List” of their People… and their People are a few tasks away from burning-out and quitting, burning-out or burning-out and staying! All three options are a problem, and all are due to poor Leadership.

There are certain Employees who fall in the category of “Inspired & Motivated” and they will offer ideas, say “Yes” to more and more work, and your favors. There will come a time in your Leadership when you will be faced with a choice to continue giving meaningful and necessary work to these individuals or stepping back in effort to protect them from themselves and YOU; getting curious enough about their professional list to say “NO”!

While preparing the release of my fifth book, The Complete Leader, and my AI Tool, Ask Andre… I felt it in my soul just how much those endeavors took out of me… and my Team! During a 1-on-1 with The World’s Best Executive Assistant (now my Number 2), we reviewed projects, tasks, and something came up related to new work to focus on and I said “No”. Nichole was willing, but just because you can, doesn’t mean you should! Let’s complete the launch, celebrate, and reconvene to discuss your Role, what you want professionally, what you need professionally, what processes you’d like refined, added, or subtracted, if we need to bring in someone else to assist, and assess your duties, role, and more!

“No” to see the holes!

There are times we must give our All-Star Employees permission to say “No” in order to see the holes in the process and maintain professional accountability throughout the Team and Organization! We’ve all heard of the 80/20 Rule, where  20% of the People do 80% of the work. The truth is, too many “Yes’s” create this!

A professional truth is, many Bosses are simply made aware that a project was completed or a task is done; they may have no idea what it took to pull off the impossible… let alone what it really takes to keep pulling off impossibilities day after day. As the Leader… the box is checked, the impossible happened, now back to work on the next impossible task!

Remember “The List” of your People? If you asked “What’s on your list” in regular 1-on-1 Meetings, you may be surprised how much of other people’s work your All-Star Employees are doing and helping with! Of course, a Team approach is great… but you know like I know, how quickly habits can start and become the norm. Because your Superstar Employee is so great, it’s unlikely they will refuse more work or decline to help a Coworker or Boss from another Department, and that’s where you come in to give them permission to say “No”, but how?

• We must first be curious enough to know how the impossible got done and keeps getting done. Ask in 1-on-1’s and Team Meetings.
• Once you see the imbalance, assume it cannot and should not stay that way forever to be successful.
• Brainstorm with the Team ways to streamline the process.
• Share the new expectations.
• Give your All-Star permission to say “No” and you may suggest they say something like, “Thanks for coming to me with this. I’m currently working on ______ and ___ (My Boss)___ mentioned you could come to him/her to discuss any issue.

The professional truth is, when you’re having 1-on-1’s regularly with your Team you’ll know what’s what. However, as your Team grows, is spread out, or remote… it’s harder and will require your curiosity in the 1-on-1’s and your Leadership to follow-through with possible difficult conversations!

“No” to protect from being taken professional hostage!

This “No” is short, sweet, yet powerful! It’s an amazing experience having Rockstar Employees who care about their work, your vision, can carry out any task, and is willing to do so… it truly is a beautiful thing. However, a Direct-Report that’s doing EVERYTHING and MORE when you have the ability add to the Team, provide possible help through automation or processes modification, or wait until other tasks are complete is poor Leadership and runs a significant risk for you!

What if that Employee gets fed up and suddenly quits? What if they get hit by a bus? What if they come and ask for more pay, perks, and the kitchen sink? In the first examples I shared… that’s life and things happen. Most people who start with you will not finish with you. The latter is a professional truth for most Employees who know they’re doing a great job. Them asking for more… given all they do, only makes sense, right? NOW, you’re faced with ALL THEY DO and you are at their mercy and you created it!

Let me state… I’m not saying don’t reward your People! I am saying be mindful you’re not allowing one person to do SO MUCH that they encompass the job of 6 people and can buckle your business if they were to leave or choose to hold you professionally hostage.

I’ve said this “No” to the World’s Best Assistant, Nichole! She was doing so much and offering to do more and I said, “Thank You, but I can’t let you do that. I know you’d do an amazing job; it’s not a good idea to have one person doing so much and I can’t have any one person having that much power in a company I built and am running. Therefore, what can we do to automate, wait, or hire someone else to take things off your plate… what do we want them to do, will they be under you and now you’re a Leader of People, or will they operate as a silo department and be my Direct Report?”. This is how you can protect your Leadership, theirs, the Team, the vision, and organization!

“No” Higher-Ups!

A “No” to Higher-Ups to either protect your Staff, the Customer, your Professional Reputation, or to discuss a reprioritization of duties is risky… but sometimes necessary, as you cannot move forward in good conscience!

In my Employee/Leadership days as a Mental Health Professional, I remember saying “No” and pushed myself away from the table and exited a meeting as my Boss, a client, and the client’s mother discussed an incident. The mother was in the midst of blaming our 8-month pregnant staff member for not getting out of the way while her son walked by and nearly pushed her over on purpose… all the while her son was asleep during the meeting; head on the table, drooling, and snoring. Not one time did she attempt to wake him, my Boss didn’t address it, and my Boss began to sway to the mother’s side, and I said “No”… out of disgust, but also to protect our professional culture, expectations, our staff, and our future as an organization!

Another time, I said “No” to completing paperwork in the evening, outside working hours. Early in my career, I could float around the Mental Health facility to ensure a great culture. My daughter was only 2 years old, and life was simple. Therefore, I could bring work home… no problem! Fast-forward a few years, and the same facility was too chaotic to complete any task but physical restraints. I had three kids in sports after school and an hour-long commute each way. I was no longer willing to complete work at 10:00pm!

How to say “No” to Higher-Ups:

• Be willing to accept the risk of possible insubordination. Your “No” may be warranted, but unliked. Know the risk! Document responses via email. Document earlier situations, your “No”, why you said your “No”, and the response afterward.
• Leaders accompany their problems with suggested solutions. A hard “No” without your reason and suggested solution is problematic. Can you imagine your Direct Report just saying “No” to your request and walking away, Lol! Share your suggested solution, ask what they list about it, and ask if there’s anything they’d fine-tune or change.
• Be open to listening to your High-Ups view of the situation, why they chose their current line of action, what they are right about regarding your situation and “No”, and what they decide to defend organizationally.

I don’t promise the outcome or support you desire; however I do promise you’re going to find out who you work for… and that’s priceless. You now get to either stay or leave as an asset, not a liability… Be Mindful!

What was your BIGGEST Takeaway from a Leader’s “No”? How will you apply your BIGGEST Takeaway moving forward with your Team and Organization; enhancing both your Leadership *& Work/Life Harmony and someone else’s?

“Leaders make their “Yes’s” powerful and their “No’s” meaningful… Be Mindful!”

– Andre Young